With the competition to achieve academic success reaching new levels of intensity, parents are now looking to tutors to help their children gain an edge. But many parents do not realize what exactly is involved in a tutoring relationship.

Fifteen year-old Mary Lang thought she needed help with her school work. "I went to my parents and told them I didn't like the way my grades were going and you know, that I thought I needed help," she says.

At first her parents tried to help her study, but often kids resist getting help from their mom or dad. It becomes an emotional struggle of wills.

Mary Lang needed a tutor.

William Bolick, Director of Education for the Sylvan Learning Center, says that he has seen this problem before and that tutors don't have as many complications as parents. "I've said to many families, we are a neutral third party who will intervene on your child's behalf. We don't have the emotional overlay. We don't have to deal with the child later," he says.

A tutor is not only neutral, but often can determine exactly what kind of help a child needs. It may be one specific, immediate problem that the child is wrestling with. For instance, says Bolick, "The current concept, whether it's a math concept, a biological concept, a short story. And tutoring very often will help a student with that specific area."

Or the problem could be something a little deeper … some skill that the child never learned?

Bolick says the benefit of a good tutor is that, "we literally go back in time and fill in specific skill gaps and needs for that student - what is in the past, which has caused a deficit or a weakness."

How can you tell if a child needs a tutor and what kind of tutor?

As with any academic issue, Bolick says, "the first resource is always the teacher. They have the greatest input really as to whether the issue is a content based one or whether it is a skill-based one."

And after Mary Lang's tutor helped sharpen her basic skills, her grades improved from C's to A's, which was well worth the effort. "Even if you think you don't need a tutor, maybe you do, because it's better to have a tutor than to fail in class," she says.

Tips for Parents
How can you determine if you child needs a tutor? The Huntington Learning Center lists the following signs indicating that your child may need extra academic help:

Your child's teacher or school counselor recommends it. This may happen at a parent-teacher conference. It may also occur when progress reports are issued or at report card time.
Your child's grades start to fall independent of how hard he or she seems to be working, where before they were improving or holding steady.
No matter how long your child spends on homework, it's neither complete nor accurate. This may indicate a lack of basic skills or a weakness in a specific academic area.
Caught in a cycle of frustration and failure, your child shows an increasing lack of confidence and motivation.
Your child has lost interest in learning.
Your child experiences extreme anxiety before tests and exams.
Your child is reluctant to go to school, fearing failure and criticism from others.
Your child's teacher reports that he or she is acting out, becoming a behavior problem in class.
Your child says, "I'm too stupid. I'll never understand this stuff."
Your child says, "I give up." Or, worse, you hear yourself saying it.
Even if your child is not struggling in school, you may want to consider getting him or her tutor. The experts at FamilyFun magazine cite the following benefits of a tutor:

Tutoring can provide personal attention that teachers simply don't have the time to offer. Sometimes, your child can feel lost in a room of 25 or 30 kids.
Sometimes your child is gifted, but advancing him or her to the next grade may be inappropriate. A tutor can offer challenges and special assignments to keep him or her excited about learning.
A tutor is not Mom or Dad. Children are more willing to open their minds in one-on-one academic settings when parent-child dynamics are not involved.

Having a tutor may make your child feel special. Your child may feel that he or she deserves this special "coaching" much as gifted athletes are often privately trained.
When looking for a tutor, it is important to find someone with whom your child can develop a rapport. According to the experts at Schwab Learning, a good tutor should possess the following characteristics:

Be well-trained in effective instructional approaches
Have plenty of prior experience tutoring children in a specific area
Be good at working with children, including establishing rapport, so that your child wants to go back.
Keep in mind that when you find a prospective tutor, you will need to interview him or her to determine whether or not the individual is right for the job. Consider the following questions as you prepare for your interview:

What is your background, training and experience in teaching struggling children?
What kind of approach to teaching do you take?
What special training or certification have you completed?
How long have you been tutoring children?
Approximately how many students have you tutored over the past five years, and what were the outcomes?