They say breaking up is hard to do, but imagine splitting up after 100 years together.
Two tortoises in Austria have zookeepers baffled as to why they suddenly can't stand the sight of each other. CNN correspondent Jeanne Moos tries her hand at marriage counseling in the animal kingdom:
You would need a neck rub too if your 115-year marriage just broke up. No more happy anniversaries for Bibi and Poldi.These two giant tortoises at a zoo in Austria are both said to be 115 years old, and they were brought up together. But it was love on the rocks after Bibi, the female, took a chunk out of her mate's shell.
They don't even want to be in the same enclosure anymore. Zookeepers don't understand what went wrong after 115 years of togetherness, but people posting online have plenty of theories, such as:
"Every time she wanted to talk about the relationship he retreated into his shell."
"My guess is she caught him making eyes at the 90-year-old bimbo in the enclosure next door."
"He gave the wrong answer when she asked 'does my bum look big in this shell?'"
What makes this breakup even more ironic is the song made famous by a certain singing group. Who could forget The Turtles: "The only one for me is you, and you for me, so happy together."
Now, it's "happy apart" for these tortoises.
Talk about irreconcilable differences.
On the bright side, 115 years sure beats Kim Kardashian's 72 days of matrimony.
We haven't been this distraught about a breakup since Pedro and Buddy, the so-called gay penguins at the Toronto Zoo, who were separated by keepers and put into a breeding program.
Bibi and Poldi are taking marriage counseling of sorts. Zookeepers are trying to inject a little fun back into the relationship by getting them to play games together. Imagine at 115, single again, looking for a hot tomato...